by Carol Allen
Most (but not all) women are sensitive in some way.
Maybe they’re more emotional than other women, more intuitive, more dramatic in how they think and speak, or more keenly aware of their physical surroundings.
But some women (and men!) are soulfully sensitive. Are you?
Soulful sensitivity is a personality typing that’s more commonly known as “High Sensitivity” and people of this type are referred to by psychologists as HSPs or Highly Sensitive People.
(I want to repeat—it’s NOT a personality disorder—it’s a personality TYPE. ;))
I call it “soulfully sensitive” because it sounds kinder and frankly, more in keeping with the special, soulful nature of those who have it.
It’s a trait that’s seen in both men and women.
Sensitivity, like other personality traits, manifests on a spectrum. Some people are more sensitive than others and therefore, can experience more of the challenges that come with this beautiful and unique disposition, especially when it comes to love, dating, and relationships.
For example, people with this trait tend to fall in love too quickly (not always with the right people) and perceive rejection too intensely.
If you’re single and having a hard time with dating, or you’re in a relationship that’s not as fulfilling as you’d like it to be, you may want to keep reading to see if you share this trait with 15―20% of the population. If so, you’re going to learn how to make the most of your unique nature, increase your confidence, take better care of yourself, and improve all your relationships—especially those closest to your heart.
The Tell-Tale Signs You’re Soulfully Sensitive
Sensitivity comes in two categories: emotional and physical. Here’s how to tell if you’re either, or both.
How to Tell If You’re Emotionally Sensitive
Check to see if any of these characteristics describe you:
- You easily feel a strong connection with others.
- You’re intuitive about people’s character, and can sense other’s moods easily.
- You tend toward dramatic language. (A date wasn’t just fun, it was a DREAM. It wasn’t just boring, it was SOUL-CRUSHING.)
- You get ahead of the action, visualizing your wedding and children’s names even before you know a guy very well. (Like on the first date…;))
- You dive in quickly when you feel chemistry. You love fully, showing a guy all of your attention and trust, even before he’s earned it.
- If you’re single, you’re more into “inner work” like journaling and analyzing your dreams than putting yourself “out there” in the real world, meeting and flirting with men.
- You hate internet dating—it’s so unromantic and superficial!
- You’re a magnet for bad guys and jerks.
- Even when you see “red flags” early on, you think it’ll be different because YOUR love will help him overcome whatever is wrong with him, or his limitations.
- You’ve been known to quickly go cold or even “ghost” friends and dates if you feel uncomfortable, preferring to avoid conflict than communicate your feelings.
- Men (yes, more than one) may have told that you’re “crazy” and “too much” and that you “overthink everything.” (My husband is from Texas, and he likes to say charming things like, “The women’s be thinking too much.” And then I throw the blender at him. ;))
How to Tell If You’re Physically Sensitive
You may also be physically sensitive if:
- Sounds are louder, lights are brighter, and smells are smellier (to you).
- Sexual chemistry is hugely important, but overwhelming, and if it’s great it can blind you to anything else about a guy.
- Textures affect you and sheets, towels, and clothes MUST feel a certain way or you go nuts.
- You hate clutter and need an ordered environment or you can’t focus.
- You get overstimulated by noises/smells and have to retreat to calm down or recharge your batteries.
- You get lost in music, art, and the beauty of nature.
- You feel pain more intensely and need a lower dosage of medications and herbs than suggested.
You may relate to a few, or all of these. The more characteristics that apply, the more sensitive you are.
What This Means For You And Your Love Life
Being highly sensitive, or what I’m calling “soulfully sensitive” is rare, and it’s special.
What this means for you, when it comes to love and dating especially, is that you take things all too hard. You tend to get inspired and starry-eyed easily, but also get exhausted just as quickly.
When things go wrong or don’t move forward when you want them to, it feels like you’re coming apart at the seams. You agonize.
This isn’t something you can shake off. You can’t just “snap out of it.”
That’s because this trait isn’t a choice for you. It’s inborn (genetic).
Also, just in case you’re worried, this is NOT a personality disorder or anything that needs to be fixed. It’s simply a personality type that comes with its own strengths and weaknesses, just like any other personality type.
It’s not bad or good…it’s neutral. How you THINK about it and how it makes you FEEL and BEHAVE is where you can get into trouble…especially with men!
Being soulfully sensitive is a beautiful thing. It makes you so lovable and exciting to be around. It’s why you’re so empathetic and creative.
It impacts how you perceive the world, how you respond to life, and how you feel about love and relationships.
It is the soulfully sensitive woman’s relationship to love that got my interest many years ago, because of a trend I noticed in my private dating & relationship coaching practice.
Why I Became Interested In Helping Soulfully Sensitive Women
As a Vedic astrologer counseling women for over twenty-five years, I started noticing an interesting coincidence: without fail, the vast majority of women who came to me for readings and advice fit the profile of soulfully sensitive—especially when it came to their love lives.
They were telling me how hard they were taking it when they felt rejected or slighted by men. How quickly they connected with that guy that turned out to be all wrong. How exhausted they were by dating or how devastated they were by break ups or divorce. How everything just felt like…too much, all the time.
As a result, they often didn’t date for years (sometimes decades!), feeling like it just wasn’t worth it, and that they’d only get hurt some more…
You’d think women like this might be socially awkward, or unattractive. But what amazed me again and again was how lovely they were, and how rich and successful their lives were in every OTHER way.
Why couldn’t they have the same GREAT results in love that they had elsewhere?
I wanted so much to help these women. So I did some research on the highly sensitive trait.
And you know what I discovered? Even though there was a lot of information out there about the WHAT and WHY of this trait…there was woefully little information for these women when it came to LOVE…
I could read about their different nervous systems, how this trait shows up in their cortisol levels, their blood pressure, their serotonin, etc. But I could find almost NOTHING about WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY, and HOW TO BE with men…
In other words, there was a good amount of information out there about what qualities distinguish the sensitive people from other people and the physical realities of the science under it all, but there was pretty much ZERO significant information about what these soulfully sensitive people were supposed to DO to make their love relationships easier and better while honoring this oh-so-significant part of them.
That’s when I knew I needed to find and develop the answers myself if I wanted to help my soulfully sensitive clients find love without changing who they were at the core. Why would I want to change them, anyway?
Soulfully sensitive women are so alive—so sensual, creative, spiritual, and fun. My mother was this way, my sister, too—which must be why most of my best friends and my husband are soulfully sensitive, as well (’cuz I LOVE these people and the amazing gifts they bring…).
They shouldn’t have to change, or even be judged for who they are. They should be celebrated!
How To Fall In Love With Your Sensitivity And Have A Man Adore You For It, Too
You ARE wired differently than most women, and that simply means you have to do things differently.
And you need more support.
That’s all. Easy peasy.
In my video program, Love and The Soulfully Sensitive Woman, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief when you learn the specific mindset, strategies, and how-tos that will make your journey to love SO much easier and more fulfilling.
You’ll learn how to avoid the biggest mistakes that single sensitive women make when dating—and how to navigate the biggest challenges from your first contact with a man, to the first date and beyond.
You’ll find out why being honest about your needs and feelings is so agonizingly hard for you, and why sharing them in the past probably hasn’t gone well…and practical tips and strategies to help you set boundaries and communicate that’ll help you improve all your relationships overnight!
I’ll tell you how to tell if a man is strong enough to be your Forever Man (’cuz you need someone who can handle—and cherish—your unique nature). With the specifics you’ll get from my program, you’ll be able to fine-tune your intuition to trust yourself and make better decisions about men.
For example, you’ll know what to look for (and what to ask!) before you sleep with a man, so you don’t fall down the rabbit hole of lust and desire and end up falling in love with a real jerk.
You’ll discover how to separate “the men from the boys” and avoid a lot of possible pain…
And how to handle tough conversations and make them more playful and fun, drawing men closer instead of pushing them away with your earnestness…
You can look forward to being a lot less affected by the disappointments of love, and gaining a lot more confidence and “cool” when it comes to men. Ahhhh…
Start Watching NowAnd whether you’ve just discovered that you’re a little bit soulfully sensitive, or a lot, I can help you make the most of your beautiful personality and find fulfillment you so richly deserve.
Soulfully Yours,
P.S. Soulfully sensitive women are particularly prone to feeling UNWORTHY. That makes them sitting ducks for the a$$holes of the world. Excuse my French!
In Love and The Soulfully Sensitive Woman, you’ll learn how to protect your heart from men who would take advantage of your kind, romantic nature by learning how to skillfully vet men even before the first date.
How To Protect Your Heart