by Bobbi Palmer
No one joins an online dating site to meet an immature, unavailable, unkind, emotionally stunted man.
You’ve gone online because that’s where all the men are, and it’s the best way to meet and get to know someone you won’t otherwise meet in real life.
But here’s the problem: all the men you meet online are duds, or jerks, or married… or maybe you haven’t met anyone at all.
You think the problem is men. Or that online dating just sucks. Or that something is wrong with you.
But here’s the REAL problem: your PROFILE.
What you write, and how you present yourself, has EVERYTHING to do with the quality of the men you are attracting.
So do you want to find a high quality man who wants to be in a relationship… or do you want to keep getting the results you’ve been getting?
Then read on…
The First Mistake You Are Making With Your Profile
This is what typically happens…
You decide to set aside a few hours to draft something you think represents the real you, your values, your interests, what you want in a man, and what you don’t want.
You read it over and you’re satisfied that it’s decent. But you need an opinion.
So you text your profile to a couple of girlfriends and get THEIR opinion.
Maybe they read it and think it’s perfect! Or they offer a few suggestions to MAKE it perfect.
You edit a few things and voila! You did it. You’ve written a profile you like and that your friend(s) think truly expresses who you are. You’re ready to hit the “SUBMIT” button.
And this is the point where most women make their mistake…
because…
If Your Girlfriends Love Your Profile, I Can Almost Guarantee It Sucks
Yes, you read that correctly. Chances are, if your girlfriends love your profile, it probably won’t do the job of attracting the right kind of man, or any man for that matter.
Why?
Because you’ve just written a profile that is magnetic to women.
It’s NOT compelling to men.
Perhaps you’ve written that you love nature, cooking, yoga…
Or that you’re looking for an honest man who doesn’t like playing games, and appreciates an honest woman…
And you so eloquently relayed that beautiful, long story that really gets to the core of who you are and what makes you special…
And you were sure to include your list of must-haves and deal-breakers…
Your girlfriends read it and said, “Nice! *I’d* date you.”
Your friends are fabulous to help you out, but guess what?
You’ve done a great job writing a profile that’s going to make his eyes glaze over. He’s going to click to the next profile faster than you can say, “still single.”
It does you zero good to write a profile you and your girlfriends like.
Why? Because—
Your Profile MUST Be Written In a Way That’s Relatable to Men!
There are a few good reasons for this.
Men aren’t attracted to the same things a woman is attracted to when scrolling through profiles online.
Yes, men are more “visual” and they look at your photos, but it’s more than that. When he scans what you’ve written, there are certain words and phrases that will capture his attention.
And certain other words and phrases that will turn him off.
But in order to know the difference, you have to put your “man-hat” on!
You have to understand: What do men over 40 respond to? What do they care about? Especially the men who are sincerely looking for a forever relationship! How do you communicate in a way that’s going to get him to want to know more and more about you? (It’s different from the way we, as women, communicate sister!)
If you don’t know these things, then you’re likely NOT going to compose a profile that will magically draw in the right men and compel them to contact you.
You’ll just keep spinning your wheels, tweaking your words, posting new photos, and feeling more and more beaten down every time you get online and see nothing good in your Inbox.
The problem is that you haven’t optimized your profile to be magnetic to men.
You can’t know how to write an effective, alluring profile without knowing a little bit about how grownup men think, what they’re looking for, and how to communicate with them.
Not many women have this knowledge.
That’s where I can help.
As a dating coach, I’ve helped thousands of women in the last 10 years find love online by teaching them the skills and secrets of using technology to attract the right man.
I’ve also showed women the secret mindset that makes them almost impervious to rejection, which makes online dating a lot more relaxed and fun for them.
But since I can’t possibly work with every individual who needs this kind of help, I’ve partnered with Flourish so I can extend that help and guidance to as many women as possible.
When you subscribe to our FREE Relationship Advice Newsletter, you get access to more articles like these, from an accomplished community of carefully selected experts (like me!).
You’ll also learn:
- The 6 truths about men and online dating that most women don’t know, don’t believe, or don’t understand, and how these truths can transform your expectations about dating online.
- How to handle a situation where a man you’ve written doesn’t respond, responds but doesn’t initiate a meeting, or starts messaging you but then disappears—so that you don’t lose your sanity or confidence.
- The one word mantra that can help you deal with men who don’t write back, act weird, or say inappropriate things, so you can feel confident and not waste your time on jerks.
- The 3 principles of online dating that will help you stay motivated and inspired, no matter what bad experiences you’ve had with online dating and how hopeless you feel now.
- The 1 pitfall women commonly fall into with online dating because they don’t understand the psychology of mature, relationship-minded men…and how to avoid it.
Simply enter your name and email address in the box, and you’ll get all this plus much, much more.
It’s free, it’s easy, and you’ll be so grateful for the help and guidance you’ll get—not just about online dating, but about dating in general, relationships, self-love and self-development, and parenting.
The advice contained in these articles will help you feel more empowered and confident about getting online. You’ll feel magnetic, in control, and in charge of your grownup love life!
Plus, with the advice you’ll receive from the other seasoned dating and relationship experts, you’ll have the knowledge you need to find your Special Man and fall in love…for life!
Love,
