by Evan Marc Katz
If you’re a single woman with a full and busy life, you may think you don’t have a lot of time to dedicate to dating.
It’s partially true. You work. You work out. You have friends, family, a social network. You’ve got hobbies and Netflix and yoga and book club. You’ve pretty much filled up all your time with stuff you love—except for a deep and meaningful romantic relationship.
You’re not alone. But you’re not getting any closer to your goal. If anything, you’re getting farther away from it.
Maybe you’re burned out on dating and stopped trying after years of trial and error.
Maybe you don’t think it’s worth it to open up to anyone new since every guy you fall for breaks your heart and everybody else is a dime a dozen.
It’s a real dilemma. You want to have love in your life, but meeting new guys is just so time-consuming and since you aren’t finding great men, why even bother?
Still, you console yourself.
Maybe it’s just not the right time.
Maybe you need to take a longer break from dating and focus more on yourself.
Maybe you need to get out and meet guys the old-fashioned way—through friends or family.
But then you realize that taking a break never led you into a happy marriage and none of your friends or family seem know any interesting single men.
Finally, you make yourself feel better by telling yourself that love will happen when you least expect it.
What a concept!
You can just live your life, and once you stop wanting something, it’ll just show up.
Do you really believe that?
I hate to break it to you, but the idea that love will just magically “happen” without any effort on your part is completely UNTRUE.
Think about it. What else that’s good and valuable in life just “happens” without you putting forth time, effort, and energy?
What Happens When You Don’t Make Love A Priority
I get it. You’re overbooked, maybe stressed, and you don’t have a lot of time to waste on dating. Most of the women I work with feel the same way—at first.
Take Melinda. She turned to me when she was in her mid-thirties. Super-bright and ambitious, she said she socialized for work, and didn’t have time to sift through guys online.
Melinda told me that when she met the right man, she would shuffle her work schedule around. But UNTIL she met the right man, she’d continue to work 14-hour days in pursuit of wealth. Her stance made perfect sense to her.
“The right guy is worth sacrificing for, but why make any sacrifices until I meet him?”
She’s waiting for a miracle—some deus ex machina—to hand her a husband without changing anything about her current life.
Or take Christie. She was different than many of my other clients because she was a true introvert. She’d get out of work, do an hour on the treadmill, fix a quick dinner, watch TV or read a book, and curl up with her cat until it was time for bed.
Then one day she looked up at the age of 35 and realized she was lonely. She had virtually no dating experience. She didn’t like the idea of online dating, so I suggested an ongoing, low-pressure singles event.
She did go, but didn’t meet anyone. She only stayed 10 minutes before concluding it was a waste of time. All because she didn’t bother to talk with any of the 250 singles in attendance.
The Reality Is That Love Doesn’t “Just Happen”
What do both of these women have in common besides feeling too busy to date?
They’re both afraid of stepping out of their comfort zones.
They’ve bought into this myth that love will “just happen” without any effort on their part.
Look, I know how easy it is to just run on auto-pilot, especially when you have a lot going on.
The idea of dating and finding a companion gets little attention, not because you don’t want it, but because it feels overwhelming to think about how you can fit it into your already-busy life.
Especially when you haven’t had a lot of luck with men in the past and are feeling pretty skeptical that you ever will.
You feel defeated, not inspired.
You don’t want to put in all that effort only to be disappointed.
I completely understand. But you have to understand, as well:
If you don’t make love a priority now, chances are, not much will change in your love life.
What You Need To Know: Dating Is A Conscious Choice
Thinking love will “just happen” is the equivalent of an unemployed person saying “work will happen when I least expect it.” Or saying to an obese person, “weight loss will happen when you least expect it.”
This takes away all of your power in controlling your own destiny.
It’s much easier to cast off your love life to the power of the Universe, rather than commit to making it a conscious CHOICE.
Are you more likely to get employed if your efforts land you at least one job interview a week, or while you’re sitting home watching TV, collecting unemployment?
Are you more likely to retire comfortably by hoping it’ll just happen, or by consistently saving 10% of your income?
You may be the greatest catch on Earth, but if you go on NO dates, you’re NOT finding love.
Mr. Right is not going to break down your office door at 9pm.
He’s not going to climb down your chimney at Christmas.
He’s not going to show up at your door with take-out Thai food and proclaim his love.
So, if you believe (like I do) that love is the most precious commodity on earth and that no one dies wishing she’d worked more, you MUST make a conscious shift to prioritize love.
It doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. It doesn’t need to be a major undertaking.
You don’t have to quit your job, move to a different city to restart your life, or hire an expensive matchmaker to find The One.
You just need to:
- Start with small “wins” in dating and
- Stop sabotaging your love life with the common mistakes that make men run.
Do that and before you know it, you’re on your way to a blissful love life with an amazing man.
If You Want Things To Change, You Need To Make Some Changes
Prioritizing your love life doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing proposition.
In Chapter 10 of my eBook and audio program, Date Without Heartbreak: 10 Incredibly Common Mistakes That Keep Great Women Single, I’ll show you how to make some very specific, simple shifts that will get you out of your comfort zone and into the arms of Mr. Right.
You’ll learn what steps to take to start meeting men with only 20-30 minutes out of your day.
You’ll have the opportunity to take on a special challenge I give women like you, that can almost guarantee you’ll meet your husband.
More importantly, my program will help you avoid making the 10 most common mistakes that waste your time with an endless cycle of bad dates and go-nowhere relationships.
You’ll discover the real reason why you’ve had negative dating experiences in the past, and what you need to do to turn things around immediately. No more waiting around for a man. No more wondering why he disappeared.
I’ll show you how to become the CEO of your love life and take back your power with men—without doing the typical things that turn men off.
When you follow the recommendations in my program, you’ll see that being social is fun and meeting men can be exciting.
Dating doesn’t have to take up too much of your time and it doesn’t have to be anxiety-provoking, either.
You just need to make a smart investment in the process.
Ten years from now, when you’re deeply in love and happy with your husband, living the life you’ve always wanted, you’ll be glad you did.
Take The First Step NowWarmest wishes and much love,
Your friend,
P.S. Do you know the hidden reason men are NOT always attracted to accomplished, independent women? It’s not that you’re intimidating. It’s something else. In Chapter 6 of Date Without Heartbreak, you’ll learn why men often disappear after a few great dates, even if you’re a great catch. Hint: it has to do with what he’s NOT FEELING.
Learn what a man needs to feel