Why Chemistry Leads to Heartbreak

by Felice Dunas

You know that feeling you get when you start dating a new guy and you think you’ve met “The One”?

It’s that butterflies-in-the-stomach, over-the-moon, gotta-see-him-again-soon kind of feeling that has you floating through your day and unable to sleep at night.

It’s always wanting to have your phone next to you in case he texts or calls. And that rush of adrenaline you get when you finally hear from him after a few days, and he wants to see you again!

It’s like you’ve been injected with a very potent drug—a FEEL-GOOD drug.

You think to yourself, “This is a sign. This must mean our paths were MEANT to cross. Maybe this is the man I’m MEANT to fall in love with.”

Right, because, why else would you be having all those incredible feelings?

If you’ve experienced this kind of romance in your past, but it didn’t lead anywhere serious…

Or it ended badly…

Or you’re still single but don’t want to be, there could be a very good reason why.

In this article I’m going to reveal what I’ve found to be the #1 reason why women either remain single for too long or end up in a string of dead-end, disappointing or even toxic relationships. And then I’m going to tell you what it takes for you to find the love of your life—at last.

The Dangerous Mistake That Can Waste Years of Your Life on the Wrong Relationship

In my 30+ years as a speaker and personal development educator to business executives, and in my clinical practice, I’ve met so many women who:

• are amazingly successful in their professional lives
• have to think and strategize at extremely high levels in their jobs
• lead their organizations

… but have no plan or clear vision in their romantic lives!

Or some do have a vision, but this vision is often based on a fantasy or a childhood wish of what romance and forever love is supposed to be like.

And without a vision or a plan, these women are swept up by those breathless experiences of sexual and emotional CHEMISTRY when they meet someone they’re highly attracted to.

They think, “This is what love is supposed to feel like. Therefore, this man and I have great potential together!” And they say yes to another date, and another, and another.

Until it all falls apart because the man isn’t the person she believed he’d be.

These successful, smart, independent women jump with both feet into a relationship with a man who really isn’t compatible for one reason: They feel an emotional and sexual chemistry high.

Meanwhile, they don’t realize that he’s got vastly different values, a lifestyle or habit that makes a relationship difficult or contentious, is either a workaholic or not interested in working at all…

But they can’t see that, or won’t acknowledge it, not until it’s often too late to protect their hearts and their precious time because they’re already so attached.

These women will contort themselves to make a relationship with the wrong man work and will waste years of their lives—sometimes their last child-bearing years—wondering why this man isn’t right, and won’t change.

And All Because of a Failure to Recognize the Critical Difference Between Chemistry and THIS…

What about you? Have you wasted too much time in the wrong relationships, getting ghosted, and feeling let down because a man either wouldn’t commit or wasn’t the person you had hoped he’d be?

If so, you probably have complained to friends and family that you have a bad “picker”.

The men you meet SEEM great at first (at least the ones you decide you’re into). But then things inevitably fall apart after a few weeks or months, or worse yet—years.

Maybe you’ve even wasted decades with someone who could never make you happy!

The #1 reason I see this happening is because women fail to recognize the difference between chemistry and compatibility when it comes to romantic relationships.

Just because you meet someone who gives you that “alive” feeling doesn’t mean they would make for a great life partner. In fact, that type of swooning chemistry may often suspend your rational judgment and make you think you’ve found the right person, when in fact, it has nothing to do with anything being “right”. Chemistry and the great feelings it produces doesn’t mean what you think it does.

This is what happily married couples already know. Chemistry was not the main reason they decided to commit to each other and it’s NOT why they’re still together many years later. They know there are many other factors that are much more important to sustaining a loving, connected, happy relationship on a day-to-day basis.

However, many, MANY unhappily married couples often tell me that when they met they thought their love was magical from the start, but it turned out to be an illusion.

After the infatuation eventually wore off (as it always does!), the real work of making a life together started. That’s when they discovered they had chosen the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

And that wrong reason was that magical “feeling” they both had, that had nothing to do with whether or not they were truly compatible. It fooled them and it may have fooled you also.

Choosing someone with whom to build a life is one of THE most important decisions we will make in our lifetime.

It will determine your quality of life, what you do day to day, where you will live, how you will travel, what your holidays will look like… possibly even how long you’ll live!

It deserves at least the same level of thoughtfulness and preparation as buying a house or choosing a career.

But unfortunately most women are choosing wrong because they don’t know how to untangle the “feeling” of chemistry and physical attraction from the all-important compatibility.

Look, I’m not telling you that you can’t be attracted to the person you fall in love with. Of course you can and should feel attraction. But attraction isn’t the same as chemistry, and chemistry shouldn’t be the driving force of why you choose to continue dating someone or commit to someone.

There need to be other, more important factors that drive whether or not you pursue a serious relationship with a man:

• what you WANT from your life partner
• what you HAVE TO OFFER
• who fits your PREFERRED LIFESTYLE, and
• what TYPE OF PERSON can make you FEEL LOVED

And most women simply don’t know what these are or even, how to figure them out!

That’s why I created my 30-day video program, The Soulmate Method.

The Soulmate Method will show you how to:

• Make and implement a plan that will give you the results you want
• Know your needs and requirements in a partnership
• Have a vision of what your partnership looks and feels like
• Qualify the people you meet
• Choose your partner based on compatibility first, then attraction

It will instruct you, step-by-step, day-by-day, on how to date in a wiser and more pragmatic way, so you can realize your dream of marriage, family and lasting love SOONER.

You’ll learn how to date EFFICIENTLY and EFFECTIVELY, while also having a lot of fun. This means no more wasting precious weekend nights with a man who can never make you happy, because of his personality, approach to relationships, values and personal habits. The result? More joy, more fun, and less misery in the long-run.

You’ll know exactly how to “discover” these aspects about him, in a way that isn’t intrusive or interrogating. PLUS you’ll get tips on how to have fun on dates while getting to know a man, without getting too emotionally attached too soon.

It’s all in my 30-day program, which you can start watching here:

You’ll also learn:

• The keys to understanding physical and emotional attraction and chemistry, and how genetics, smell, culture, and the subconscious play a role in the kind of people you’re typically drawn to—and why it’s important to see all of these aspects with a clear and discerning mind.
• What it means if you feel “love at first sight” versus a comfortable, slow attraction that builds with time. Is one type of relationship better than the other? The answer to this is critical to your long-term happiness.
• The 5 Types of Dates: the kinds of activities and dates that will guarantee you’ll get to know your date and have fun even if he isn’t a good candidate for a second date.
• Why men pull away and act less interested after having sex with you, and what you can do to ensure you’re not pining away for a man who isn’t interested in a real relationship after sleeping with you.
• And much, much more!

When you pick the right person, everything about your life will be easier. You’ll feel supported, loved, respected and honored. You’ll be able to be more yourself because you won’t have to spend all your energy trying to make the wrong relationship “right”.

It all starts with finding the right person, and I’m grateful for the opportunity to be able to show you how.

Warmly,