How To Transform Tension Into Connection

by Dr. Sue Morter

Bring to mind a challenging person.

The one who pushes your buttons and seemingly has the power to put you in a bad mood.

This person doesn’t have to be an “enemy.” It could be your friend, your spouse, your ex, your child. It could be your mother, your father, your landlord.

When this person does that difficult thing they do, it sends up a surge of tension in your body. Things could have been coasting just fine for you, but then here they come and do their “thing,” and you’re totally thrown off.

You can’t think straight, and you wonder if they’ll ever stop doing that thing they do.

What do you do with the upset?

If you’re like a lot of people before they come across my work, you’re probably inclined to either lash out or shut down.

You want to speak your mind and tell them all the reasons they’re wrong, or you open the escape hatch and take space away from them. Or maybe both.

Either way, YOU lose.

Withholding Love Is Not Your True Nature—And It Hurts You

When someone has been unloving to you, the last thing you want to do is show this person love.

But that’s only because you have not understood that one of the most devastating things you do to yourself is to choose to withhold love.

You may think that by withholding love, you’re teaching this person a lesson or standing up for yourself, but the opposite is true.

When you withhold love, everyone loses—beginning with you.

For one, it takes an enormous amount of energy to maintain a grievance. You may not even realize this, but withholding love hits you in the form of headaches, stress, and other aches and pains.

If you weren't hemorrhaging energy this way, you would feel lighter, clearer, and more in control of your life. Negative energy activates more negative energy in others. When you shift into positive energy by opening up to even the smallest loving gesture, you usher in a flow of more positive energy and positive circumstances—even from people who were being positively negative moments before!

It’s not your natural state to withhold love.

Think of babies. They come into this world as simply big-hearted beings. They are love, and their natural tendency is to let love in.

Your core essence has not changed since you were a baby, and it hasn’t changed for the difficult people in your life, either.

The Truth: Everything Is Either Love Or A Call For Love

Patterns of grievance and grudge are man made—created by our minds. Our minds weave together all sorts of elaborate stories about why people do what they do. When you encounter difficulty in another person, it’s your mind telling you that you should hold back your love.

But if someone is acting unloving toward you, it’s their thinking that’s faulty—not their core self. Their core self, like yours, is also love.

In other words, what’s missing in any difficult situation is love!

Once someone is brave enough to bring in the love, everything shifts. When you do the thing you think you don’t want to do, you change the entire dynamic in the relationship.

Be the first one to bring love into a particular situation.

Be the first one to forgive.

Be the first one to let go.

Be the first one to stop the argument.

The Key To Change: If You Melt, Life Around You Will Melt

Can you feel the chill in the air when there’s tension between you and another?

It’s all a call for love.

If you’re willing to be the one to bring it, you’re stepping in to the most empowered place. Because your relationships are simply a reflection of the love you’re willing to give in any moment.

Be the one to extend a loving gesture, and you will feel an eruption of love within you.

The other person won’t know what hit them.

Actually, they will know—deep in their core they’ll know it’s love, and it will stir up the love within them.

Love shows up, and everything changes.

Allow yourself to be the vessel, to let it happen through you. The more you love, the more love seeps in to those around you.

How To Bring Peace To All Your Relationships—Even The Trying Ones

By now you may be thinking:

“Sounds great, Dr. Sue. I want more love. But how the heck do I do that when someone’s being really difficult and I’m all triggered?”

Good question, and I’m so glad you asked. Because this is my specialty.

For decades, I’ve been teaching doctors, clients, and patients how to turn all the negative tension into a positive force for transformation.

Now with my Energy For Life program, you can learn all these tools right at home and watch even your trickiest relationships turn around.

I’ll teach you exactly what to do with the sad feelings that get in the way of being only love—you’ll learn why you need to work with the raw energy of these emotions in order to shift them.

It’s not about understanding the story and trying to make sense of why it’s logical and reasonable—the key is getting UNDER the story to the energy of the raw emotion and the vibrational frequency.

The story is really just your ego, what I call the protective personality—that part of you trying (and failing) to keep you safe. It’s the part of you that insists on staying mad at someone for a few days, weeks, or years.

When you learn to dissolve your protective personality through the program, your core loving essence can finally drive your life—and create miracle after miracle in your relationships.

Your old patterns of holding grievances aren’t serving you anymore. You’re here to be love. And you’re here to recognize you are love.

It’s not about being a doormat. On the contrary—when you’re anchored in your core self of love, you’re also able to steer love, to say no, and to make the right decisions in any relationship.

With Great Love,

P.S. It’s important that you know when to leave a difficult relationship (otherwise you will attract the same type of situation—and take your karma with you).

There’s a specific rule of thumb I use to know when it’s time to leave a difficult relationship. I’ll tell you exactly what it is in the closing module of Energy For Life.