Do You Worry About What Others Think Of You? Here’s The Secret To Never Doubting Yourself Again—And Feeling Truly Confident In Your Skin

by Marcy Neumann

Do you often worry you’ve said or done the wrong thing?

Do you analyze yourself after social interactions and wish you could take something back?

You text your new love interest and then don’t hear back for days. “That’s it,” you think, “I’ve turned him off.”

You sense a change of tone in your friend after you gave her some advice. Worry and regret keep you up at night. “Maybe I went a step too far, and she didn’t like it.”

Your partner is being unusually quiet, and you immediately think it must be your fault. “Did I do or say something to upset them?”

Maybe your kid isn’t being as cuddly as he usually is. So you start to worry that he doesn’t love you as much, and surely it must have been because of something you did.

On some days, you may even wonder if you did something to upset your dog.

Living In A Minefield Of Your Own Creation

It’s painful to live like this, to always think you’ve put your foot in it—yet again.

One minute you’re cruising along happily, and the next, your mind is completely consumed with the worry that you did something wrong.

The bigger problem here is that even though it may feel like your emotional state is one big roller coaster, the truth is that you’re never truly happy.

People who don’t live with the kind of painful worry and regret you do enjoy a much more grounded and secure sense of happiness.

Your moments of happiness, being as perfunctory as they are, are too fleeting to enjoy fully.

In other words, you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And that’s no way to live.

It’s All About You…And It’s Nothing About You

Think about the last time you were worried that you said or did something to upset someone.

If your new date disappeared, you immediately conclude you pushed him away. In your mind, he doesn’t like you anymore, and it’s your fault.

If your friend has pulled back a little, you think surely you must have triggered it.

If your kid has been kind of touchy, it must mean you are a bad parent.

Notice how all your conclusions have to do with YOU. This leaves no room for the possibility that:

Your new date has a sexually-transmitted disease, and he’s afraid to tell you.

Your friend just got hit with a work deadline and hasn’t even had time to wash her hair.

Your kid is going through a normal bout of childhood development.

When you pull back and look at these possible explanations rationally, you see that they are all valid. You know this. And yet your initial reaction is to think YOU did something wrong.

The Real Reason You Feel So Guilty All The Time

Why do you do this?

Why do you immediately conclude you’re the bad guy?

Because you think YOU’RE wrong. You think there’s something fundamentally not right with you—you’re broken, too wounded, too flawed, not good enough.

And there’s only one reason you could possibly think that:

Because you lack SELF LOVE.

When you lack self love, you have a very shaky sense of self. Your sense of self is determined by the outside world and what people think about you.

And since you can’t control what other people think or do, you go around with a chronic sense of insecurity.

If your date, friend, spouse, child, colleague, or cat are responding positively to you, you feel positive. You conclude you’re “doing things right.”

If anyone acts a little differently, you make it mean that there’s something wrong about YOU.

When you have self love, your sense of security is always strong, because it is generated from within. You are so confident in your worth, that this doesn’t change just because people around you change.

How To Stop Worrying And Start Living Now

When you really understand that depending on other people for your sense of self is a path to misery, you will do whatever you can to generate security and happiness from within yourself.

If you think about it, you are the only constant in your experience. You have been with yourself from the beginning, and you will be with yourself through to the end of this life.

If that makes you cringe a little, I can understand. Years ago, I felt a prisoner of what other people thought of me and wanted of me.

Until, one day, I had a revelation that changed everything. I knew that if I didn’t take the focus off other people and turn it back to myself, I would never truly live my life.

I realized that by basing my worth on others, I fundamentally lacked self love.

Once I made it my mission to love myself above all else, magical things happened in my relationships, my career, and my overall sense of happiness.

I realized I could be happy by choice rather than by chance.

THIS is what I want to teach you through my program Self Love For True Love—which contains the same framework, exercises, and guidance I have taught to hundreds of clients.

Through questionnaires and practical techniques, you’ll learn how to create a rock-solid sense of self that is not dependent of the moods, responses, or whims of other people.

Once you commit to Self Love, you will no longer be walking on eggshells, having doubts and regrets, or going from emotional highs to crushing lows.

That’s because when you have Self Love, you accept all parts of yourself…the imperfections, the quirkiness, the weaknesses and even those parts you believed were UNlovable.

You know that you like being a helper, so if your friend pulls away after you give her advice, you know it’s more about HER than about you, because you love that part of yourself that is kind and compassionate.

When your date doesn’t call for a week, your first thought is that something must have happened on their end, and it has nothing to do with you. (And even if it’s because they’re not into you, that’s fine—not everyone will like you.)

If your partner is being quiet you assume they’re coming down with a cold, or tired from work, or dealing with a dilemma that has nothing to do with you. You know that if they had a problem with you, they’d bring it up.

Having self love allows you to see yourself in a much more centered, confident way. You aren’t doing anything wrong and if someone doesn’t like you, well, not everyone will. That’s OK.

YOU like you.

This is the power of having self love, which, by the way, is not selfish, narcissistic or self-indulgent.

This is just a sampling of the feedback I’ve received from people I’ve worked with:

“I am more forgiving of myself and others, guilt is far off.”

“I’m able to love more freely - no judgments, no reservations.I feel more comfortable speaking out.”

“I am more loving towards myself; appreciating my gifts.I now see myself as a light of love and know that it’s the most important thing in life. Love is all there is!!”

“My mind and heart have shifted to feeding myself positive and loving thoughts.”

“Smiling, happy, not sweating the small stuff as much, feeling inspired and renewed.”

“Marcy opened up that world for me, and that has given me a feeling of love, security, safety, and confidence that I have not had before.”

“I am able to get through my fears and insecurities in a gentler and more loving way. I am more kind and loving to myself.”

Self Love is your ticket to emotional freedom and real happiness. I can’t wait to lovingly guide you there.

Love,

P.S. There are many reasons why you may be lacking in self love. You could have experienced a traumatic event, had parents who didn’t love themselves, or grew up thinking you had to be all things to all people. Whatever your reason, Self Love For True Love will free you from the obstacles keeping you feeling so guilty and regretful so often: